What is it with my legs?

Helloooo my darling little pumpkin seeds! Isn't everything just so wonderful that you could kiss the world???

Finally, finally, finally, the soul-squelching cold and dark and gray of winter has lifted to reveal blue skies, budding trees, the smell of FLOWERS intermixing with sewage, and the return of...ME WALKING TO WORK! Yes, friends, I have logged, and it's only Wednesday, mind you, a total of 10.5 miles this week! Without hardly breaking a sweat! Do you know how many calories that is? Neither do I! Do you know how many annoying hipsters I haven't had to see (or smell)? Neither do I! Welcome, glorious springtime, welcome welcome welcome to my world!

And tomorrow is supposed to be 70 degrees! I might go to work naked to celebrate.

Or not. Though it may help the "Lizzie needs a promotion so she can afford to live on her own" cause.

Anywho, two things about my walk to work today. Firstly, that I FINALLY broke, and wore, ugh, yes, my running shoes, with, ugh, yes, a skirt. And do you know what happened, friends? Nothing, that's what. My feet walked to work in blissfully arch-supported comfort, and i was nary a scornful look received (i don't know if that made any sense, but whatev. it's my blog, i can write what i want.). IN FACT, I was surprised, yet again (please see blog of last week pertaining to "legs"), by the number of men who saw me walking past and immediately dropped their eyes to my legs to STARE until they were out of my sightline (i have no idea what happened after that). This was accompanied in one instance by a "Mmm, mmm. Good morning, beautiful. Beautiful!" Which i didn't mind, in the least. Though I have to wonder WHOSE LIBIDO IS THAT AWAKE BEFORE 9 AM?? Seriously, I totally get morning sex. No problem. But to actually catcall a woman who is walking TO work in RUNNING SHOES...that takes some serious horniness. in my opinion.

Where was I? Yes, the complete befuddlement of men looking at my legs. I'm just going to blame it on the newly arrived springtime weather which arrived with it the showing of women's appendages that haven't been seen since last October. I mean, if men wore skirts, and then they stopped wearing them in October and they just started wearing them again, I would probably be staring that their legs, too.

Bye babies! More to come!

the beauty of the unknown

i feel like i've been scattered into a million swirling snowflakes that are hovering above the city. i feel like nothing is certain, that any part of me could land anywhere. i feel stagnant, hovering above the chaos of the city, unable to settle as i sweep past buildings and trees and the lights in Times Square, and the hunched overcoats. I feel cold and alone. I feel shaken and stirred. I feel like this entire city is my home but i have nowhere to rest. still but on a precipice. calm with a storm on the horizon. the hush before the starting gun.

on your mark. get set. run.

in six months, my life could be entirely different. or entirely the same. and it feels odd to say that i have no idea which it will be. questions are writhing like snakes in a pit, one, then another, then another, sliding on top of the others, into my view.

where will i live when my lease is up?
will i get into grad school?
will my work pay for grad school?
will i try to find a better-paying job?
will i try to find a cheaper apartment further away, or will i be able to afford to live on my own?
who will be my confidantes?
who will be my lover?
will i be able to afford a vacation, and will i be able to find someone to go with me? (yes, i know, not exactly a life question, but important, nonetheless)
will i cut my hair? (haha, NO!)
will i be in love?

i know that some of these things are simply unknowable. which is what drives me crazy.
however, i also know that i will adjust. i will think hard and long about what is most important to me (saving money or living alone?). and i will know what to do. i will be fine. i know it. i always am. but that doesn't stop a part of me from freaking the eff out about the unknown now. before i know it.

which is one of those things i really like about life: the drama of it all. the change. the ambush. you think everything is fine and calm and peaceful and maybe, just maybe you've started to figure everything out, and then KA-BLAM! Batman breaks through the door and starts throwing punches and next thing you know, you're in the middle of an epic comic-book scale punch-throwing, onomonopoiec-word seeing fight with some crazy fat man dressed like a penguin. POW! BLAT! SCHMOOZELE! (i made up that last one.)

BOOM. and you know you're still alive.