So, I'm deep in what i've finally come to realize (after several subsequent years of wanting to kill myself come mid-to-late February) as my "winter depression." I feel like crap, i'm frustrated, i'm bored, i'm tired of being inside all the time, i'm tired of having to wear long sleeves that are NEVER long enough because of my freakishly long arms, i feel like everyone hates me, and i'm stressed about school, work, life, friends, and where i'm going to live. i'm also seriously considering deleting my blog, as i feel like i can't write what i want to without making people angry, which makes me feel like i need to censor myself, which completely paralyzes my writing. when, in fact, most of what i write has nothing to do with anyone specifically and has a lot more to do with my own personal psychoses and frustrations over large, general things in my life and personal hangups that have been honed for YEARS. in all likelihood, anything i write has nothing whatsoever to do with you. so please don't take it personally. just because i express frustration that all my friends are married does NOT mean that i dislike you, married friend. just because i write about my frustration with ungrateful men does NOT mean that i am angry at you, sir, or that i think you are ungrateful. also, i am almost always willing to discuss any of my views and listen to yours. if you disagree with me, say something. it's not going to offend me.
i want to go to sleep and not wake up until May.